Too Tired To Miss You Properly

I'm supposed to be doing homework right now. But I'm not. I keep stalling and getting distracted like normal teenagers do. I call it the Facebook Syndrome....you go on it to check something and the next thing you know you're clicking on profiles left and right.

I haven't heard from this person in a while
I wonder how he's doing
Wow, it's his birthday? I can't believe it-
I didn't realize this guy was so funny...

I stumbled upon her page. And boy, do I miss her. She was putting up a post talking about how much she misses summer, I'm thinking in my head how much I miss her.

School's been going by generally fast. I'm sort of just going through the motions hoping to make it by. But I can't help but slow down for a bit and think about the days when school was an adventure, not a chore. When I couldn't wait to get home to do my homework and I actually had time to read a book. When my friends were my battery that kept me going, and not just mere pictures posted up on Facebook...

I know, I sound like one of those creeps that spends more time looking at other people's lives on Facebook than making one of my own, and that's more or less true. Look, I'm not trying to come off as some psychologically messed up nostalgic freak. I'm just trying to get my thoughts down. Someone needs to listen to me...

Life is going too fast. We're 16 years old and all we can think about is derivatives and college and SATS and band. Stop! Please, just stop. For once just literally stop to smell the fucking roses. No, that doesn't mean go do pot and get high! It means stop to breathe. This is supposedly the time of our lives and after high school we're considered adults. We have to pay taxes and people start getting married and before we know it we're going to be 33 years old with a quarter of our lives over with a baby in a crib. I don't want my life to fly past on Facebook. I don't. I miss her. I miss her so much. She was the closest thing I ever had to a best friend and she's gone. All three of them are gone. I just wish people would see that it's not our grades or our sleep that's so precious, it's our friends. In two years I may never see any of them again. And I can't accept that.

Not yet.