Nowadays

I know I haven't written on here in a while. I feel like I should just to get my mind off of things. I can't sleep. I have this...urge to do something....I just don't know what.
I started looking back at some old fan fiction stories and I wanted to cry. I miss middle school. Somehow, I feel like even though I'm more mature now than I was back then, I was more alive in the past. I was nerdier...I was funnier....I was more outgoing. Most importantly, I looked forward to a bright future. Nowadays I'm dull...and lonely. I have a boyfriend, whom I love, and friends, whom I love, but somehow I don't feel like myself anymore like I did before. I feel empty. Like there's a part of me that's gone.

When I was younger I had obsessions. I would read senselessly and write almost everyday. My life revolved around the internet and I was alive with such passion and such a feeling of wanting to just have fun and be myself. And then I grew the fuck up. Now I have a lot of friends who still attach themselves to the computer like they depend on it. But me? I don't feel anything anymore.

Gone are the days of texting until 2:00 in the morning because I'm roleplaying with a friend. Gone are the show binges and straining my eyes to watch anime. Gone are the days of breathing in comic books and writing until my fingers are sore.

Nowadays I'm thinking about the future...I watch television re runs and I prepare myself for the life I hold in the future. I look at my room which is a 4 walled scrapbook of my adolescence and I can't help but think I'm looking at my life through someone else's eyes.

Am I just growing up? Does this happen to everyone? And even if I did...did I lose myself in the process??